I came home, exhausted, dragging Leila with one hand and groceries in the other. I took out the trash, unloaded the groceries, and changed into jammies.  Stared at the fridge. Sighed. Decided to make my favorite late-night dinner: deli ham and mustard on Hawaiian King sweet rolls. Three is a perfect number for the little snackwiches. God, you know you’re tired when making a sandwich with three ingredients seems like too much work. The rolls are hard–I keep them in the fridge because everything molds in the summer–and so I cut them in half and open the microwave.

Where a carton of butter pecan ice cream sits, completely melted.

I can only guess that in my half-dead state Friday night, after indulging in a massive bowl of ice cream atop a Mrs. Field’s cookie (what, jeans? My ass is growing? I can’t imagine why.) I put the ice cream in the microwave instead of the freezer… I had to text my brother, the man who once stuck our remote control in the fridge and then, with growing puzzlement, helped us search the entire living room for it. Obviously it’s genetic.

Random Fashion Rant

August 29, 2009

Fashionistas: you are on notice. This gawdawful Oliver-Twist-meets-Nirvana style hell that is going on right now MUST STOP. Your scuffed granny boots with stirrup pants and OhMyHeavens, are they truly SELLING a flannel shirt TUNIC at Urban Outfitters?–ladies! That is not cute! You do not look pretty! And for the love of GOD eat a sandwich and apply your eyeliner correctly!

Went to bad crazy early last night, got up crazy early this morning. Might be having a slight nervous breakdown. Be back tomorrow.

Coming of Age

August 26, 2009

Y’all, I saw it this morning, as I was applying eyeshadow. I had my hair pulled straight back from my face (too hot and humid for bangs) and I was carefully sweeping on eyeshadow (you must be careful when applying crazy colors. Such as green. I love being a fair-skinned redhead–I can rock me some zany eyeshadow) when I saw it. A wrinkle. Not just any wrinkle–I have plenty of small ones peppering my face–but a deep, pronounced wrinkle, a half-inch below my widow’s peak. A wrinkle from SQUINTING and making jillions of crazy faces over the last 27 years. A wrinkle that screamed: “Jackie! You are getting old! You should probably marry that man who puts up with you and have another baby rightquick before you turn into one of those mothers everyone judges because they are waaaaaaaaay too old to have small children! YOU’RE GETTING OOOOOOOOOLD!”

And then I locked myself in the bathroom and refused to come out.

Barely Conscious

August 25, 2009

RAWR. I probably take a nap once every three weeks. My phone sometimes goes the entire day only ringing twice, once in the morning when David calls on his way to work, and once at night when he calls on his way home from work. But somehow every telemarketer, coworker, or friend seems to SENSE that I am napping that one time every three weeks, and calls for no reason whatsoever, or for me to repeat some instructions that they really should’ve remembered. (For instance: please pick up Leila’s immunization records. Like I asked you to two weeks ago. At the same doctor she’s been going to for five years. Not that I am naming any names, there, FI, but really, could you not remember which doctor it is when I just repeated all of these things to you yesterday?)

I do not wake up prettily. I have some crazy reaction when the phone wakes me up–as if it must be someone calling with bad news.  So when I am jerked away from my nap by that shrill ringtone, I am not likely to be happy. In fact, I am likely to become a grumpy bitch.

And now you know what kind of mood I am in.

Random Things I Decided:

August 24, 2009

(I erased this entire post because I was terrified someone would miss the sarcasm.)

Hot Sunday

August 23, 2009

A pretty nice day, I must admit. Some leisurely browsing at the shoe store in the early afternoon, a little light cleaning, and I ended the day with creme brulee, which just can’t be beaten as far as deliciousness goes.

This is why I love my neighborhood: awesome restaurants for foodies, cute little shops (random as they might be, they have my favorites: a shoe store, a makeup store, an Ann Taylor Loft, and a Marshalls) a local bakery (yum, Cakelove) and a fountain where kids run around like little maniacs, whooping and laughing. We have farmer’s markets, concerts, craft fairs…the list goes on. Not too bad for the suburbs, eh? Too damn bad it’s all built on top of a swamp.

Hot.

August 23, 2009

It’s a million degrees, work was crazed, I am tired, see you tomorrow? Yes. Tomorrow. Maybe I’ll write twice.

The 16th-Street Players

August 21, 2009

I thought that you might appreciate a brief overview of those who might grace these pages from time to time. Some of the names will be real, some will not, because, well, not everyone would appreciate their name being smeared all across my personal public diary.

So, there’s me, I’m Jackie and welcome to my humble abode. I like to talk about my kid, fashion and my life in general, along with my oh-so-important and probably underinformed opinions on various subjects.

Leila– My precious “baby” who is no longer a baby, headed to kindergarten in just over a week, sassy, smart, and crazy observant. This last is a problem–I am stuck answering all kinds of confusing questions. That’s a whole other post, though.

Fi– Leila’s father and my former husband, whose name is rather distinct and yet not so uncommon. God forbid someone google it and find my scribbles, so I will leave him with this nickname, which I have occasionally called him by. (Often because it irritates him and also because it amuses me.) He is a big reason I consider myself a hippie parent–our relationship is friendly even post-divorce and we try hard to “co-parent” instead of fighting and struggling for power and positions of “the favorite parent” — ya know? I believe he is a good man even if he wasn’t the right man for me.

Amanda– My roommate and best friend,the person I bounce most of my thoughts and ideas off of. We can discuss religion as we try on shoes and enjoy ourselves thoroughly. I mostly refer to her as my husband. I imagine you’ll see why soon enough.

Jay– Her boyfriend. Cute, smart, sportswriter for a local newspaper.

Sammy– An online friend with whom I often discuss tough subjects. We disagree on religion but agree on tolerance and it makes for good, long tete-a-tetes. I mention him now because I will probably bring up things we’ve spoken about in future posts.

David– My boyfriend. We’ve been together, long distance but with frequent visits, for two years. He’s mellow, patient, and kind. He’s also a huge nerd, but I forgive him for that one. After all, I do have a blog.

Grace– My closest “Mommy” friend. Her daughter is the same age as Leila and we have much in common. She is one of the funniest people I have ever met. Our playdates never fail to lift my spirits.

I’ve probably temporarily forgotten important people, but these are the day-to-day lovelies.

(I love that my spellcheck doesn’t recognize Google, online, and blog.)

Quiet.

August 20, 2009

Oh, my loves. I don’t write about work, and that is all that happened today. I have two entries on standby but they require brain usage and…well, I don’t have any brain left today.

I decided to bring deep jewel tones and structure into my closet this year. I just typed thing year. I think the fashion post must wait as well. Kisses!