1) People Who Wear Hiking Boots in Their Daily Life: Dude. It’s the grocery store, not Everest.

2) People Who Are Obsessed With Being Counter Culture and Weird: They are never actually counter culture OR weird, yes they will insist to you that they are, with much evidence, and constant referring to how weird, counter-culture, or freaky they are. They will drop it into conversation, emails, the most mundane of discussions. And here’s a tip: if you think you are counter culture and weird–you’re not. There’s no such thing. You fall into a crowd just like, oh, I don’t know, EVERYONE ELSE ON THE DAMN PLANET.  You are guilty of doing this incredibly annoying thing, and people are probably laughing at you. (If you don’t know anyone who does this–I am jealous, but it seems most people under the age of 35 knows at least one idiot guilty of wanna-be individuality.)

3) Religious Fanaticism: Okay, I actually do understand this to some extent, having grown up very religious. However, the extent to which some people become sheeple and never question…anything…is terrifying and I do not understand it. God (should you believe in Him) made us bright and inquisitive for a reason. And that reason was NOT so we could accept everything said to us by a Religious Authority Figure as gospel truth. No pun intended.

4) Projecting Hatred at Celebrities/Famous People: First of all, I have news for you perpetrators of this brand of insanity–You do not actually know those people. Whether they are a blogger of Dooce-like fame, or an actress like Jennifer Aniston–you do NOT know them. Even if you’ve read every blog post, interview, and gossip article ever written, these people are not your friends OR your enemies. You don’t have the right to judge them, to decide their intentions and motivations, or to pin your insecurities on them. I don’t understand hate mail, or nasty comments, or stalkers, or people who throw fruit (figuratively speaking) or…any of it. If you don’t like the site, don’t read it. If you don’t like the actor, don’t watch their movies. If the music bugs you, put something else on your iPod and SHUT. UP. Now, you can have opinions: “Dooce, ugh, I don’t like her writing and I don’t understand all the fangirls.” “Angelina Jolie is just not pretty to me,” “Justin Beiber’s voice grates on my last nerve.” –These things are acceptable. But the rampant harping people do re: celebrities drives me crazy.